“Finally it’s Easter again, my favourite holiday of the year!”, said probably no one ever. John Oliver even described it as “Not so great Christmas”. But where does the common dislike towards the church’s most important holiday come from? There are some questions we have to ask ourselves in order to answer this one. Is it because we don’t get as many presents as we get for Christmas? Maybe. Or is it because we get one work-free day less than we get for Christmas? Maybe. It’s probably a combination of both. But is Easter generally inferior to Christmas? Pretty much so.

Well, that didn’t go as planned … So instead of focusing on the negative parts of this (allegedly) miraculous holiday, I say: Let’s find out why Easter might even be better than Christmas!

1st: Looking for Eggs and Chocolates

Depending on where you live, you either get to experience the sharing of presents on Christmas Eve or on Christmas Morning. You get all excited because you’re not yet sure what you’re getting. But what you’re most certain about is where you’re going to find all of your presents: underneath a tree. Same procedure as every year. With Easter, you get to experience the joy of searching for your presents. And isn’t this a much bigger joy than just to unpack the well placed present? Although your Easter presents might not have been as expensive as the ones you got for Christmas, they’re probably more delicious. Tasty chocolates and painted eggs are what’s in my gift basket almost every year. And if you happen to hate eggs – as I do actually – why not mix it up for once and put in some delicious canned food? The best thing about that is if you don’t like what’s inside your can, you can easily store it for a year or two and hide it for someone else to find in the next year.

2nd: Movies


via GIPHY

One of the most iconic Christmas movies of all time is “Home Alone”. Macaulay Culkin, back when he was an adorable child, being all by himself because his parents somehow forgot him at home when flying to Paris. Him staying unharmed by the robbers who attempt to break into the family’s ten bedroom suburban home (seriously Hollywood, what does his father do for a living?) is what one would consider a Christmas miracle. But is it, though? I mean, Kevin is amazingly well prepared for a 9-year-old. He is equipped with all sorts of stuff to help him fight off the intruders. At one point he slams their heads with a paint can which not only keeps the paint contained, but also is able to almost break a human’s skull. But what is a rich suburban kid compared to Moses? This ancient super hero and Easter movie icon split the sea to lead his people to the Promised Land. Sounds like a better plot to me. This round goes to Easter as well.

3rd: Mascots

This is a no-brainer! I’m a big fan of the Easter Bunny. Whereas I’m not too fond of the overweight old guy in his red suit who creeps through my chimney once a year to eat cookies and drink milk. And I don’t even have a chimney. This guy scares the crap out of me and made my little brother cry when he was a kid. Also, so-called Santa Claus collects data on the behaviour of every single person in the world. Kind of like Google, or Facebook, or Amazon. Not too trustworthy if you ask me. But I want to end on a positive note: Santa’s not real. Never has and never will be. He is the biggest most commonly known ad campaign from the producer of my favourite soft drink, which is also sold in cans. Very convenient. So if you weigh the options of which holiday has the better mascot and the most prominent mascot for Christmas is not even real while the Easter Bunny totally exists and is super awesome, there is really only one correct answer to this.

After careful consideration of all relevant points I managed to find 3 things that Easter is better at than Christmas. There might be even more of them, that’s just all I found.

What do you think, Easter beats Christmas at? And did you find all of the canny and subtle Easter Eggs, I put into this text?

Written by Dennis

Being a pizza addict, Dennis knows all the perks to canned goods like tomatoes.

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